Becoming Friends Again With Someone You Had a Thing With
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If you made the leap to tell your friend that you like them and they rejected you, even to the indicate of not talking to you anymore, it tin be a real blow. Information technology tin be difficult to rebuild a friendship with someone once you've confessed you like them as more than a friend. However, if yous each give yourself time, affirm the importance of your friendship, and work hard to rebuild connection and good for you boundaries, you could become friends once again.
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Ensure you've given yourself plenty time. Once your friend has rejected you, make certain to requite you and your friend some time to process and readjust. You both probably feel uncertain nigh what the two of you now accept, so give some time to think things through. If y'all usually spend every weekend with them or talk to them oftentimes via text, give yourself a few days apart and decrease your communication during that fourth dimension.
- Keep in mind at that place's no prepare time limit for getting over someone. Go with your instincts on how much space or fourth dimension yous both demand, but don't avert each other for too long.
- If after a few days or weeks you lot experience you've processed your initial sadness, reach out to them to see if they're open up to talking and spending fourth dimension together. If they're still uncomfortable, ask them how much longer they demand and let them know you'll be there for them when they're prepare to talk again.[1]
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Assert the importance of your friendship. Acknowledge that your friendship probably won't ever be quite the same again, simply affirm how important it is for you lot to however be their friend. Let them know that no thing the rejection, you yet value them equally a friend. Communicate how being their friend means a lot to you.[two]
- Y'all can say, "Y'all still hateful a lot to me as a friend and I'd like to try to be friends nonetheless, even if it'southward a niggling awkward at first."
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Accept responsibility. Accept responsibility for trying to modify the boundaries of your friendship. Acknowledge that you know information technology may have been awkward for them to hear your changed feelings. Show that y'all can handle the rejection well by accepting your friend's feelings and not trying to fight with them or change their listen.[3]
- You can say, "I know this is probably awkward for yous and I'm sorry for putting you in this position. Thanks for listening."
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Explain yourself. Explain your reasoning backside confessing feelings to your friend. Let your friend know that you had to tell them the truth because your friendship has always been based on openness, honesty, and trust. If you've been good friends for awhile, have spent a lot of quality time together, and accept adult this openness and honesty with each other, your friendship will have a improve chance of restarting.[4]
- You tin can say, "I would regret information technology if I never told you how I actually felt, and I'm glad we're such good friends that I could be honest with you."
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Ask what your friend needs. Together, discuss specific ways you tin return to your friendship. Cheque-in with your friend well-nigh what they need or want from you now that you've confessed your feelings. Cheque-in on how they run across the situation and inquire if they have any ideas for making things better between the 2 of yous.[v]
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Return to normal. The before you return to your normal pattern of interaction with your friend, the easier and less awkward information technology will be between the two of yous. Returning to the normal way you spend fourth dimension with them will evidence you've accustomed and moved on from the rejection. Avoiding each other will but increase awkwardness and keep yous both from returning to friendship.[6]
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Create new, healthy boundaries. You'll want to render to your normal ways of communicating and spending fourth dimension with your friend, with a few exceptions. Now that y'all're trying to rebuild your friendship, you might desire to do some things differently and then as to avert catching feelings once more. If at that place's as well much pressure to human activity differently around each other, you lot may non be able to rekindle the friendship. Some boundaries to set include:[7] [8]
- Avoid flirtatious beliefs, touching, and sexual innuendo.
- Be conscientious when talking about their dearest life and dating other people.
- Avoid holding out hope that they'll change or fall in honey with yous later on.
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Develop other relationships and interests. Make sure you make time for other interests and activities. Explore other friendships and dating other people. This will assist you lot move on from any feelings you had for your friend. Be sure to develop other friendships where you can discuss love and dating more openly than you might with your friend.[9]
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Look at your patterns. Explore what made you make up one's mind to try to have your friendship beyond its electric current status. Reexamine if y'all read too much into their behavior, if you typically fall for friends or others who aren't really available to y'all, or if yous adult too much intimacy with your friend besides shortly. Talk about these patterns with a counselor or a friend who knows you lot well and then that you lot can preclude falling for your friend again, or falling for another friend.[10] These patterns could occur because:
- Y'all've been hurt in the past and are scared of existent commitment.
- You want to protect yourself from future rejection in a relationship past choosing someone who is already unavailable or uninterested.
- You don't believe you're deserving or worthy of dear.
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Larn and move on. Take heart in the fact that your crush on your friend has taught you what y'all value in a relationship. You lot've learned what you appreciate in a meaning other and what's attractive to you. Apply that knowledge to other relationships. Learn to grow the intimacy you've shared with your friend in other relationships.
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If you mope around afterward you're rejected, it just serves as a reminder that this person didn't "requite" you what you wanted. Instead, try to gracefully accept the rejection and motion on. If yous can't take the rejection, yous likely cannot return to being "just friends."
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Both of you are probably embarrassed by an come across like this. So both of you will need support, from each other and from other friends.
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Give your friend time if needed, but don't avert each other if you're both genuinely interested in wanting to preserve the friendship.
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If you continue to hold out promise that your friend will return feelings, you lot're not being fair to the friendship.
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Article Summary X
If y'all want to become friends again with someone you told you like, look a few weeks until yous've gotten over your feelings for them. When your romantic feelings have faded, tell your friend that you lot'd like to be friends again, like you were. For example, say something like, "I retrieve I've gotten over my feelings for you and I'd like to endeavour to exist friends still, even if it's a footling bad-mannered at start." When you hang out with them, try to act like you practise around your other friends, and so things volition kickoff to feel normal once again. Yous can also make some new friends and consider dating other people, which will take your mind off your other friend. For more tips from our co-author, including how to avoid flirting with your friend, read on.
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Source: https://www.wikihow.com/Become-Friends-Again-with-Someone-You-Told-You-Like
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